In the depths of my mind, judgment weighs heavy,
From those once revered, shaping my life's levy.
As I navigate adulthood, protecting my own kin,
I encounter unforeseen sacrifices, deep within.
Choosing judgment over popularity, a decision bold,
A conviction laid upon my heart, steadfastly told.
In moments of frustration, I questioned the divine plan,
"Why burden me so?" I cried, weary of the span.
My choices ripple through past and future, I see,
Yet down this path, I walk, resolute and free.
For this conviction, deep-rooted in my core,
Guides me with an instinct, unwavering, evermore.
Persistent throughout life's journey, it began,
A quest for healing, my inner voice's plan.
From high-fructose corn syrup to gluten's hold,
I tread the path, despite those who scold.
It strains relationships, a price paid in strife,
Yet leads me to healing, away from life's knife.
In seeking alternative treatments, doubts arise,
But I trust my intuition, where truth lies.
Critics may scorn, their voices loud and clear,
But I forge ahead, knowing purpose is near.
For in this journey, guided by divine grace,
I find solace, strength, and my rightful place.
The weight of judgment lingers in my thoughts.
It's difficult to shake, especially when it comes from individuals whom I once respected and who played a role in shaping my own childhood. As I navigate adulthood and strive to protect my own children, I'm faced with unexpected sacrifices.
In my case, it meant choosing judgment over being liked.
Don't get me wrong, there have been many times over the years I was frustrated at God for laying this conviction on my heart. There was one time in particular that I got in a disagreement with my husband over health protocols for our kids, and thinking "why did you give me this conviction - I am tired of having this fight."
My decisions have affected countless relationships of my past.
And yet I am well aware they will continue to affect future relationships.
But I still continue down this path.
Because this conviction is so deep and powerful in my heart - I feel it in my gut.
I can't shake it off. Even if I try to ignore it, he shows me signs. Intuitively, He tells me what was right, before I had the words (or science) to back up my convictions, and continues to put the right people in my life to continue down this path.
It's been persistent throughout my life.
First it started on my path to heal myself.
"You are obsessed with high-fructose corn syrup"
"What started with your obsession with high-fructose corn syrup, is now hydrated oils, and now gluten + corn. It is all in your head."
It had destroyed my relationship with most of my family.
To finding alternatives treatments to help my mom reverse her cancer diagnosis:
"You don't know what you are doing, you could kill her."
"Just leave it to the doctors, they know what is best"
"If she says one more time Grandma could have been saved with different treatments, I'll loose my shit."
